To overcome defensiveness, several strategies can be employed. These include:
1. Know your triggers and anticipate them: Understanding what personal triggers are and where they might arise can help in anticipating and managing defensive reactions[1].
2. Give it a name: Labeling the defensive behavior can help in becoming more aware of it and taking steps to address it[1].
3. Assume good intentions: When receiving feedback, assuming that the other person has good intentions can help in managing defensive impulses[1].
4. Don’t take it personally: Trying not to take feedback personally can aid in reducing defensiveness and staying open to learning from the feedback[1].
5. Adopt a growth mindset: Cultivating a growth mindset can help in seeing feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat[1].
6. Exercise self-compassion: Being more forgiving of oneself can help break the unproductive cycle of rumination and manage reactive tendencies[1].
Additionally, it is important to notice when becoming defensive, validate feelings, avoid acting on them, and act in agreement with personal values[2]. Seeking to understand the other person, practicing active listening, and accepting responsibility are also effective in managing defensiveness[5].
Citations:
[1] https://nextsteppartners.com/how-to-not-be-defensive/
[2] https://www.choosingtherapy.com/defensiveness/
[3] https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-stop-being-defensive-7187366
[4] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-be-yourself/201805/how-to-stop-getting-defensive
[5] https://www.youniversetherapy.com/post/11-tips-to-stop-getting-defensive
