Scenario: Bureaucratic Aliens Try To Help Humans Destroy Earth

It may seem to distant aliens observing us that our human intention is to destroy the Earth but that we are just not very good at it. However hard we try, the Earth has mostly replenished itself.

In a distant corner of the universe, a group of bureaucratic aliens known as the Xixanoids have been assigned the task of assisting humanity in destroying their own planet, Earth. These advanced beings are part of an intergalactic council that governs various civilizations and planets, ensuring the smooth functioning of the universe. In their superior wisdom, they have deemed that humanity must be “helped” in its Earth destroying goal, to preserve balance.

The Xixanoids, though possessing advanced technology and intelligence, are not known for their creative problem-solving abilities. Instead, they rely heavily on bureaucratic procedures and regulations to accomplish their goals. Upon arrival on Earth, they begin implementing a series of strict regulations and cumbersome protocols designed to slowly dismantle human civilization.

First, they establish intricate systems of permits and licenses for everyday activities, making even the simplest tasks incredibly strenuous and time-consuming. Obtaining permission to eat, travel, or even breathe becomes an arduous bureaucratic ordeal. Humans find themselves drowning in paperwork, waiting for months on end just to accomplish basic tasks.

In addition to the bureaucratic procedures, the Xixanoids introduce absurd rules and regulations that hinder progress and innovation. Research and technological advancements are strictly regulated, with numerous committees and subcommittees dedicated to scrutinizing and delaying every scientific endeavor. The human spirit is crushed as they are forced to comply with meaningless guidelines rather than focusing on constructive solutions.

Moreover, the Xixanoids strategically exploit human divisions, encouraging conflicts and sowing seeds of distrust. They amplify existing differences and fuel social, political, and ideological divisions, making it nearly impossible for humans to unite against them. The aliens ingeniously manipulate public opinion through misinformation campaigns, further inciting chaos and division.

As Earth’s destruction slowly unfolds, the Xixanoids eagerly observe their bureaucratic mechanisms at work. They watch as humanity’s potential for growth and progress is squandered, replaced by a stagnant society trapped in red tape and internal conflicts. All the while, the Xixanoids justify their actions by convincing themselves they are preserving balance and order in the universe, that they are helping humans accomplish their own goal.

Bulcus Tormay

Bulcus Tormay is a geneticist and writer interested in futurism and alien contact. He joined Newsi8 in 2023.

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